I've Been Missing

It may appear that I’ve been missing. Posts have been rare.
But while the writing has waned this season of personal discovery has been wondrous, and in many ways, more professionally productive than the work could have ever been.
Indulge me as I share some of these discoveries with you—

There’s something that happens in us when someone we love is struggling. It’s not that we disappear. It’s just that the humanity in us is redirected for a season to where we are needed most. That’s what happened to me.
I discovered that the pocket that holds my creativity is also the container for empathy in equal doses. For me— like creativity—empathy requires inspiration, focus, and emotional engagement in large supply.

Psychologists contend that, to be empathic, one must understand the inner world of another but recognize that the experience is not one’s own. In other words, empathy is the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in their situation.

Now here’s the emphasis of that previous sentence—IMAGINING. For me, empathy is about BEING or PARTICIPATING in the other’s situation. This way of approaching life is not a result of some deficit or boundary issue. I am simply and unequivocally wired this way.  I am certain that a psychologist would tell me that this is an unhealthy way to be. Boundaries are crossed. Lines are lost. But what transpires in this immersion is the helping of another to the degree that they cannot help themselves. To become a voice—to reach into another’s core to uncover that which cannot be accessed on one’s own— is to become advocate on behalf of what is authentically desired. To do this, successfully, I have discovered that a part of me must be sacrificed to the mission.

The word, “sacrifice” has become an unpopular term. To give a part of oneself to another, without concern or guarantee that the part given can be recovered, is considered dangerous and ill-advised. Yet, I have discovered that the giving up or over a part of myself makes room for the extraordinary lessons that come as gifts to fill the space made in the sacrifice.

The concept of sacrifice makes many people uncomfortable not only because of what is personally required but because of innate feelings of unworthiness on the part of the recipient. Yet, I have discovered that each of us is worthy. Sacrificing a part of oneself to another is not only healthy but primordial. It’s the way we were created to be.

I have discovered that my passion is reaching in and pulling out the best in another, sourcing what is internally valued and authentic and facilitating the manifestation of these qualities in the world. Coaching others to externalize their core, through what is voiced and visualized, serves to ground and center during times of confusion and chaos. And there are plenty of those times in our lives.

I have also discovered that I like myself more when I am in the service of another. My heart is more open, teachable, and available in these times. For a woman in business, being vulnerable is not only unpopular but out-of-the-box. Yet showing emotion, leaning in when others are crossing their arms and holding tight, brings humanity and unity to tense situations and ultimately redefines what it is to be “successful.”

The most inspiring of discoveries is that heaven and earth intersect in front of our eyes. Remarkably, in this intersection, Sanctuary Living resides. Most profound of all… this intersection is attainable, now, through how we choose to live our lives through becoming acutely aware of who we are created and intended to be and manifesting that core in our surroundings.

On my funky little white jeep there is a license plate which reads, “AHWAKE,” which for me means, "grounded in the moment." I’m troubled at the epidemic of what I call, “Picking at the Sheets,” a phenomenon I've observed in the elderly that causes them to subconsciously attempt to ground their bodies even as they begin to sense their spirits separating from this plane. This “Picking at the Sheets” isn’t reserved for the dying but is epidemic in those who, obsessed with gadgets and other external stimuli, have become completely unaware that their core being/their humanity is slowly slipping away. I’ve watched as one struggles to birth a spirit, very much like birthing a child—the coming and the going require acute concentration of body, mind, spirit. In fact, to give birth to anything of real value takes focus, awareness, and that, “AHWAKE” dedication that summons all of what we are to be available and accounted for in this moment in time.

So while it may appear that I’ve been missing, I’m actually more present than I’ve been in a very long time. What I have gained through loss is more than this vessel can contain. And so, through my work, through creativity and imagining, the best part of who I am can now be poured out in greater supply.