I see you dipping your great body down to say hello to a smaller friend. You try hard not to intimidate even to the point of discomfort. In your bending you are so graceful, so intentional. I watch and smile, learning from you that our posture matters when welcoming a new friend or making way for those with seemingly smaller stature to take the first position.
Face all up and into mine with that big, soft muzzle and doe eyes searching for signs of love. Adoration was the quiet undercurrent, ever-present though not always spoken. A glance over would reward me with your grand head nodding in agreement that we were connected, not just in the moment but over a space and time that spanned more than 88,000 hours.
To love a creature so purely bent my heart in directions of gentleness. You were a gentleman, after all, teaching me that submission is not so much a giving up as a giving over to a trust that breaks bonds of fear and rebellion.
I was never lonely with you there. Even when everything around me was foreign and new you drew people to us and caused not just commotion but a surprising connection that peeled away pretense or suspicion to reveal a mutual and captivating delight. . .
You brought out the best in people. Gabriel, my “go before,” your startling combination of playful majesty took their breath away and then eased them into rich conversation that slowed the pace of our day to invite, share, reach out, stop. The phrase, “divine appointments” was the definition of your spirit.
I watch you in my mind running across the park, full speed into the moonlight, your eager gate spanning feet in seconds. There was no stopping you when you got started. It didn’t matter where you were headed; you simply ran because you could and because you were made for it. May I never take for granted the blessing of being designed for the doing and then doing it with abandon.
I cleaned your bed. I washed your face. The incessant vacuuming of your coat, everywhere, has become “trademark.” On fuller days the waking early to attend to you seemed silliness to those whose definition of importance sweeps them away to coffee and rush hour. In service of your needs I found a softer place in me that seems, even now, such benefit to those who know me as more assertive.
To say, “I love you,” and to laugh as you tried to say it back was not just some parlor trick we practiced but evidence of communion. To speak in words was not your nature yet your longing to please compelled you to fill the gap. Leaning in—such beautiful and rare extension of humanity from one not so “other” after all.
We tried hard, you and I, these last two weeks to give you more. Though the days did not stretch as far as we both would have hoped the richness of what was could not have been better. Let me never trade better for more.
At each encounter I would introduce you as the boy with the wings on his head. Gabriel, the angel, the sentinel, the eager messenger. Your name again and again defined you.
In the end, even as you struggled to breathe your amazing grace took my breath away.
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