THE PROCESS OF BECOMING

It's the time of year when colorfully-embossed cards start pouring in announcing Graduation of young men and women I rarely hear from who ‘belong’ to men and women I love.

While bold and enthusiastic, the obvious pride of the collective educational community embodied in mascots (Indians, Jaguars, Wildcats), can’t begin to compare to the overflowing measure of joy and honor reflected in the names printed inside.

I run my fingers over the letters as first, middle, and last name not only depict an immeasurable pride but anchor in the accomplishment of the present and recall that day when each was first chosen and spoken~
BLAKE ANDREW PELLMAN. SHELBY ANN TRUAX. EMILY GAEL KENNEY. MACKENZIE ANN-MARIE REILAND.

At once there rises a confounding notion that nothing purchased could measure up to this grand accomplishment of being, this PROCESS OF BECOMING. And while graduating from high school or college may be the cause for celebration it is, for me, the SHOWING UP that wins over my heart and causes tears to flow. May we never take for granted, especially now and BECAUSE of now, that our children manage not only to survive but thrive despite and within the chaos of a busy world.

Community is a warm cocoon that wraps us in the knowledge and understanding of ourselves. If we are blessed, we see the best of ourselves reflected in the eager eyes of another who seeks us out in a crowd. In acknowledging this we understand how grief and joy inhabit the same space as the cocoon breaks open and releases the butterfly.

Beyond friends and hallways, dorm rooms and libraries, families and cozy clean-sheet beds is a relentless unknown that is big and hopeful, challenging and inspiring, anonymous and heroic…

No matter if the leaving is of high school or University the BECOMING never ceases. If we’re wise we view the process as a great hunt—YOU being chased by average and complacency, THE PATH unfolding as the unwillingness to accept anything less than YOUR personal best.

That our BEST IS ENOUGH is the focus as we are mindful not to allow our eyes to wander to someone else’s lane. Graduate, yours has been prepared just for you. Its length and depth and bredth have been designed to rise up and embrace each step you take.

I pray that your path is risky without being dangerous. I pray that your feet will ache from the pursuit of honor and integrity as you find and follow your call.

It is important for you to know that I loved you first because I loved and admired your Mom and Dad. It is more important for you to know that I love you now because of who YOU are in the world.

BLAKE

Your boyish grin and piercing eyes reveal at once a rebel and scholar. You are one with whom to be reckoned as you will quietly insist that the world get it right.

SHELBY

Your external beauty may catch their attention but your breathtaking interior is what will cause others to linger. Through body, mind, and spirit you have much to say and the world will listen.

EMILY

Your grace in submission and reverence for others is matched by an unbridled spirit that points to a glorious confidence in self. Your future will be as a well-loved leader in service of others.

MACKENZIE

Your unquenchable curiosity and keen intellect have enabled you to not only “take in” but discern what is worthy of keeping. Your loyalty to people and cause will position you as indispensible in all you do.

These four may not know each other. But they are linked and not just because of me. They are sisters and brother finding their way. They belong one to another—responsible to themselves and to the community and world they are creating. What Blake does in Washington will impact Shelby in New York. The choices Emily makes in Colorado will affect Mackenzie way down in Georgia.

I close my eyes and run my fingers over and through the embossment. Class of 2011. I don’t have to see it to know that it’s there. Like what lies ahead as these four BECOME I can feel it. And it feels good.

Things I Learned from Jackie

In honor of Mother's Day...and Jacqueline

Take the high road
Keep your chin up
Brush your hair
Wash your elbows
Rise above it
Avoid gossip
Everyone has a story
Be kind
Lipstick is essential
Red isn’t good on everyone
Always serve dessert
Stand up straight
Be a stand out
Don’t sit on the bed
Pay attention to the unseen
There is a sixth sense
God is watching and watching over us
Keep your promises...
to yourself
and others
Give away clothes you don’t wear
Your best accessory is a smile
Make love while you can
Never give up
Have children
A little denial keeps us sane
There is beauty in everything
Everything has a place
Remember your roots, especially the French ones
Don’t dye your hair
Travel more
Be first class
Love up one side and down the other
Be with your babies
Marry for love
Don’t waste your time
Extend grace
Be graceful
Choose your words
Chew with your lips together
Hide some money
Open your heart
Close your mouth
Die with dignity
Attend funerals

Live with intention
You can do anything you set your mind to
You’re stronger than you think
Small people make big impressions
Life leaves when you least expect it
Go out in style
Create your own sense of style
Say something nice to everyone you meet
Make a beautiful picture out of you
Pretty is as pretty does
People are mostly good
Expect the best
Everyone has a story
Forgive
Honor thy mother
Be an honorable mother
Cherish laughter
Burp out loud
Be a lady
Learn at least one dance step
Let him lead once in awhile
Pick up after yourself
Leave the room scented with your memory
Live lush
Be luscious
Entertain often
Keep a beautiful home
Everything matters
Good enough is NOT good enough
Do what you can yourself
You can do more than you ever thought possible
Stay in touch
Collect lovely people
Create lifelong friendships
Be a magnet
Be generous with your heart
Trust your daughter’s husband
Wear big jewelry
Always choose designer
Seduce the camera
Flirt
Resist the temptation to pluck
Be surprising
Have a secret
Cry less for sorrow and more for joy
Laugh with your whole self
Make giving a common ritual
Bake
Collect recipes from your favorite friends
Handwrite your Christmas cards
Send thank you notes
Be grateful
Make the most of what you have
Remember where you come from
Be present
Sing
Cuddle
Touch
Wear the highest heels you can find
Be hip at any age
Don’t be afraid to cut your own hair
Be there
Develop a mean golf swing
Repeat yourself but only once
Pray
Pray again
Never give up
Give yourself
Play more
Pay attention
Insist
Give in
Make your own colors
Paint what you feel not what you see
Stay
Sacrifice
There’s always more of you to give
Raise your own children
Be deliberate
Know what you believe
Know someone you’d die for
Tell them
Make scrapbooks
Remember
Serve tea
Dress up at every opportunity
Watch television less
Listen to music
Memorize
Recite
Never forget a name
Eat small portions
Make a big impression
Don’t snack
Think less
Love more